Do you want to tune, be tuned, datalog, be an armchair expert......

[David Buschur]

Alright, here I am to vent again. This time it's about tuning.

Everyone has access to their tunes now-a-days. Nearly free cables, stand alones that aren't locked etc. I do NOT lock my tunes. They get passed around, critiqued, changed, observed etc. I want to be clear on something from here out.

Do you want to tune your own car? PLEASE do it, PLEASE. I'll even rent our dyno to you so you can tune on a good dyno. Do you want to datalog your car? PLEASE do that too, all day, all night, on a hill, in a dip, with a mouse or playing with your girlfriends clit, yes, please do datalog your car. (My best Dr. Seuss, haha)

I encourage everyone to learn to tune.

Now, do you want me to tune your car? I might take the job on but I think from here out it's going to depend on what a piece of shit you've built. If I do decide to attempt to tune a car I do not want to hear about what someone else thinks of the tune. I do not really even care what the owner thinks of the tune, I don't want to know if you think I tuned it a little too lean or a little to rich, a little too much boost or a little to little boost. You are paying ME to tune the car. If you don't trust what I am going to do, please refer back to tuning yourself. You may even want to find someone who really wants to tune every car he can.

If for some reason you find yourself not happy with my work, let's say the car stalls or the fuel milage sucks or something, I would of course want to hear about that and would gladly fix it if by some odd chance I made a mistake and this would of course be of no charge.

Don't get me wrong, I do greatly care about the outcome of the tuning I do. I care about it to the point I am sick of tuning piles of shit and then hearing about how the car sucks. As I've said before, I'm a decent tuner but a flat our horrible magician and I certainly can not fix stupid.

Just to be clear on this:

1. If you have a car put together properly with quality parts I will probably tune it.
2. If you want to both me with statements like, "Isn't that too rich? Isn't that too lean? Isn't that too much boost? Don't you think you can run more boost?" Well then, please tune your car yourself.
3. If you'd like to contact me to tell me what your buddy said or what someone on the internet said about how I tuned the car, save yourself the hassle of coming here for the tune in the first place.
4. Most importantly, IF I tune you and you have a problem that is related to something I did (highly unlikely and rare) I will gladly stand behind my work and fix it free.

I hope this is clear and doesn't come off as me just being an asshole. I am simply fed up with tuning cars that are just not worth strapping down to the dyno. Check yourself before calling for a tune. Check your car too.

[GQ 05YellowEVO8]

Alright, here I am to vent again. This time it's about tuning.

Everyone has access to their tunes now-a-days. Nearly free cables, stand alones that aren't locked etc. I do NOT lock my tunes. They get passed around, critiqued, changed, observed etc. I want to be clear on something from here out.

Do you want to tune your own car? PLEASE do it, PLEASE. I'll even rent our dyno to you so you can tune on a good dyno. Do you want to datalog your car? PLEASE do that too, all day, all night, on a hill, in a dip, with a mouse or playing with your girlfriends clit, yes, please do datalog your car. (My best Dr. Zeuss, haha)

I encourage everyone to learn to tune.

Now, do you want me to tune your car? I might take the job on but I think from here out it's going to depend on what a piece of shit you've built. If I do decide to attempt to tune a car I do not want to hear about what someone else thinks of the tune. I do not really even care what the owner thinks of the tune, I don't want to know if you think I tuned it a little too lean or a little to rich, a little too much boost or a little to little boost. You are paying ME to tune the car. If you don't trust what I am going to do, please refer back to tuning yourself. You may even want to find someone who really wants to tune every car he can.

If for some reason you find yourself not happy with my work, let's say the car stalls or the fuel milage sucks or something, I would of course want to hear about that and would gladly fix it if by some odd chance I made a mistake and this would of course be of no charge.

Don't get me wrong, I do greatly care about the outcome of the tuning I do. I care about it to the point I am sick of tuning piles of shit and then hearing about how the car sucks. As I've said before, I'm a decent tuner but a flat our horrible magician and I certainly can not fix stupid.

Just to be clear on this:

1. If you have a car put together properly with quality parts I will probably tune it.
2. If you want to both me with statements like, "Isn't that too rich? Isn't that too lean? Isn't that too much boost? Don't you think you can run more boost?" Well then, please tune your car yourself.
3. If you'd like to contact me to tell me what your buddy said or what someone on the internet said about how I tuned the car, save yourself the hassle of coming here for the tune in the first place.
4. Most importantly, IF I tune you and you have a problem that is related to something I did (highly unlikely and rare) I will gladly stand behind my work and fix it free.

I hope this is clear and doesn't come off as me just being an asshole. I am simply fed up with tuning cars that are just not worth strapping down to the dyno. Check yourself before calling for a tune. Check your car too.

I totally feel your frustration David!

[project_skyline]

I can whole heartedly agree with everything you have said david. While I tune cars here and there all too often do people just expect their car to make the same power as so and so who had x parts. Seeing as you get more people who come to you I'm sure its gotten real old.

People think shit parts = good power. All too often do I have to explain why their choice in parts aren't working for whatever reason it may be.

Thats why you and your parts have such a good track record. Because they work and are quality pieces.

[Nissan2Evo]

Wow David, that's on point with exactly how I feel towards "forum gurus" and f'ng Virtual Dyno clowns. With your dyno you're able to give flat out results..no disputing. I'm tired of these fools with Virtual dyno comparisons trying to make a point, lol...how can some idiot take to heart a program that if you add 20 pounds for the last McDonalds meal you had, viola 20 more horsepower. Then to make matters worse these same fools start telling the client "well you should have more power than that because I read on EvoM such and such is making 400 DLL power!"

BS to all that crap, take it to the track and prove it.

It's funny how you Dave Buschur, a reknown tuner, still goes through this crap..and I thought it only happend to up and coming tuners such as myself. If this is the shit I have to look forward too, I'm going to take up poker.

[Mike@AwdMotorsports]

Dave, you are as Honest a guy as they come.. Too honest.. LOL

I know what your talking about buddy.. I feel your pain as well.. The guys who log their car on their way to work, dinner, the movies, school, weddings, funerals are the BEST..

You didnt start tuning LAST NIGHT so if they think they can do better let them show you how its done.. I agree..

Mike

[06MREvo]

haha...very well said DB...

[Rogue]

.. and this is why I am "still" comming back for my AEM tune. ;-)

[supragrl93]

Good read and so true... after seeing all the BS Darin deals with as a tuner, I don't know how you guys do it! People suck, their cars for the most part suck and they are usually weird! Haha.

[slow_spool]

too many miss-informed owners from evo-m....

[tscompusa]

LOL this post is really funny. Id feel the same way if I were in your shoes David. Im sure you deal with a lot of jackasses.

[mullen]

well since were on the topic, david i have an issue with my tune....my car will not fly for some reason? james bonds car can do it, why cant mine?

[projectxmatt]

Yea i agree since on topic, can we tune my 1g its got an OBX fmic, some chinese 16g, bent fence posts for ic piping, and some pvc for intake, as well as some other ebay parts. Oh with MAFT and SAFC it can make I'm gonna guess like 400awhp on 87 pump gas right?

All joking aside I'm sure you go through hell especially with dsm owners....At least there are some 1g owners out there with sense enough to not use cheap shit and build things the correct way. Keep up the good work and once my car is ready for a tune, only one place it will be coming (note doesn't have above parts lol)

[vwjeff]

I cant beleive some people would even bring there cars there knowing its junk lol!

[mullen]

ya why even pay to have it tuned if its shit...

[Spoolin0nYou]

People refuse to pay for quality parts...but they see cars coming from BR with great numbers....

So, they think "hey, let me throw these Chinese knock-off parts on there, then take it to BR for a tune, and it should make the same power for half the price!"

The price is wrong, bitch! You gotta pay to play. If you can't afford the parts, don't bother buying a tune. You won't be happy. And, you're still retarded for buying eBay junk.

[talondsp]

I think everyone can relate to what you are saying David. So many People are like that in general, about everything. People come to you for advise, and you give them your knowledge from experience, then they go and do the exact opposite and bitch when they have problems. Or people pay you to do something, and all they can do is tell you how you are doing it wrong, and how someone else does it. I really don't understand how a lot of people think!!

[mikec]

"on a hill, in a dip, with a mouse or playing with your girlfriends clit, yes, please do datalog your car. (My best Dr. Seuss, haha)"
Here you go Dave

I will not tune it if it's shit
I will not tune it, let it sit
I will not even strap it down
Don't bring it here you f'ing clown!

[Mike@AwdMotorsports]

"on a hill, in a dip, with a mouse or playing with your girlfriends clit, yes, please do datalog your car. (My best Dr. Seuss, haha)"
Here you go Dave

I will not tune it if it's shit
I will not tune it, let it sit
I will not even strap it down
Don't bring it here your f'ing clown!

DING DING DING.. we have a winner.. LOL

[David Buschur]

Oh man that is great Mike!

To summarize:

On a hill
In a dip
With a mouse
Or playing with your girlfriends clit
I will not tune it if it's shit
I will not tune it, let it sit
I will not even strap it down
Don't bring it here your f'ing clown!

[antilag_200]

bwahahahahh , that is great...

Hopefully my car is not too much of a POS to come back again
, I completely know where you are coming from dave, some of my customers in the area that I live, are the same way, Now I tell them, I am not working on your car, until you put quality parts on it.